Watch out for at the end of the year " End of the year anxious disease " nbsp unable buying house clan learns to mediate mood

Watch out for at the end of the year " End of the year anxious disease " nbsp unable buying house clan learns to mediate mood
Interview experts: Intervene Zhang Chun, director of centre in psychological crisis of Nanjing
A person of white collar meets with on condition that has no room " Force the wedding " ,Make a phone call to the crisis of Nanjing and intervene the centre, say: "I am so gloomy as to really want to commit suicide! " A mother phones to say: "Intervene the crisis to my son quickly, he wants to jump down from the 16th floor! " At end of the year, not merely " gloomy " Become buzzwords, intervene the centre and receive the early warning telephone again and again too in psychological crisis.
Various contradictions smouldered at ordinary times if has not dispelled in time, has interweaved, fermented, by such particular season of end of the year, will inevitablely always break out. Please pay close attention to the fact you suffer from " End of the year anxious disease " Kith and kin,in case tragic take place!
IT elite is unable to buy the wedding room
This is an elite of 27 -year-old IT trade, its parents are university's professors, and such a family, also performing the story in " humble abode ".
A determination of his and girl friend gets married this Spring Festival. Prepare wedding at the room, the intersection of the wife and parents say room rate should the husband produce; The intersection of the husband and parents say, want, write of both sides name at the property ownership certificate, money that should all pay half. In both sides refuse to budge, the room rate soars trotting all the way. Near in wedding day soon, the girl friend will buy house pressing for, he says, the room rate is too high, waits a moment and looks. The girl friend forced the wedding, said: "I am 27 years old, can not afford to tow! " But his father says at this moment: "The room rate is too high now, we can not really afford, please do at will! " He pays close attention to the house market everyday, hopes to see the flex point that room rate falls after rise, but here a few days ago, he sees a news on the newspaper: The room rate is steadily increasing in a new year, probably rise 20%-30%! He is at once " Crazy" ,it is impatient in mood if you can't last crisis, last centre excitedly: "I do not want to live, I do not really want to live! "
Comment on: Psychology thinks, anxious to evolve from the individual to want to solve those contradictions not solved, and unable in order to solve the nonsensical efforts made of resolving contradiction.
The financial crisis last year, the room rate of this year was skyrocketing, always there are some objective realities different to resist every year, let people's psychology be difficult to bear but anxious. People's deeply worried, manic intensity that if anxiety get, mood is too excited, the consciousness passway is narrow, subside control ability it is behavioral,probably will " the suicides excited " . Then what to do?
Since the external cause is the objective fact that can't be avoided, that only changes one's own psychology to experience, let one's own soul be left from the heavy pressure and freed out, and contain " stress-reducing measure " in traditional culture Good recipe excellent stratagem.
If your mark will is far, there is no harm in studying Confucian culture. Confucian culture urge person advance courageously, demand person " the the Qi 's, run a country, flat all over the world " ; But what about when meeting the obstacle that can't be gone beyond in ideal? Mencius tells you: "It lower it let at this person too greatly,must first skin of it hungry,toil flesh and bone! " The present predicament that you just think, it is the test to you of the destiny and are tempered. You had better go to read at this moment " Celebrity's biography " ,The celebrity is before succeeding, the tribulation!
Can also be in the inner world" Retire " ,For instance, have a daydream every day, imagine the rural scenery, imagine oneself living the life like the pastoral song of rural area, unload the pressure.
Or study A Q. The foreign scholar says, the victorious law of spirit of A Q, it is the spiritual phenomenon that various countries exist when studying " the True Story of Ah Q ", it is one kind " The law of stress-reducing measure " . " the True Story of Ah Q " is said: After A Q gets a trashing, " think in the heart: ' I have been hit by the son at long last ' then he is so perfectly contented as to go back just like having the famous scenic spot " . If after he get a trashing, heart numb, in extreme agony, result its might to have a nervous breakdown or suffer from, set one's heart body disease!
Do not want to be a family and sacrifice the son
That wanted to jump down from the 16th floor is that the preparatory course in the location grow. Parents raise hundreds of thousands yuan, send him to Canada and study abroad when he graduates from the high school. This spoils the baby, it is extremely difficult to meet the life in the foreign country. Because the price is too high, the classmates all go to the airport to help people to move the luggage, subsidize some living costs, it is bitter because he can not really stand that one, have only gone once; He does not like eating Western-style food, but go out to eat Chinese food, the price is too high, can't afford to eat, do by oneself at home, because the landlord has soot again, do not allow. Put it off till Christmas with great difficulty to have a winter vacation, the excuse that he had the sea of bitterness of breaking away from, after coming back, it is not willing to go back firmly.
This sentence " Do not want to go back " ,Shake, faint parents, hundreds of thousands fall through, say, ask where put face of them? Especially the intersection of he and father, plan during the the Spring Festival also, lead son call on relatives, attentively apparent to like it! Child's mother comes from intellectual's family, several siblings are abroad. And comes from common people, though work very hard oneself, it is less than satisfactory to develop, the wife says easily oneself is " Marry " ,Let him unable to raise one's head, he hopes the son goes abroad to develop, tries to win credit for oneself, try to win credit for the family!
But the son says: "You ask me be what I right away be something, I was always alive you in the past, I thought for day when I think by oneself now, I did not want to go abroad, jumped in the fiery pit! " Parents say chattering all the time: "All for your good! " Still order: "Do not want to go back, must go back too! " The son pushes the window open and jumps down a spell, wail after being stopped: "It is too interesting to have to be alive a bit, I mustn't live! " Frighten parents give the crisis interfere in the center from, dial phone at once, ask it to intervene.
Comment on: Psychology realizes the desire of the family, it is like a kind of " debt " Will be handed down from age to age, every generation, always have a person, should be for the interests of the family, it is happy to miss one's own individual, become " sacrifice the son specially " . Only-child mostly now, they, born in from the that day, soon in the face of revitalize invisible pressure of family.
Do well " Particular to sacrifice the son " ,There must be three characteristics: One has very strong desires; Second, individual character independence; Third, good at bearing hardships and standing hard work. But our most parents only know that transmit the pressure to the child, but not let him clearly know one's own natural position in the family develop, the ones that have not cultivated him and brought honour to ancestors " The sense of calling " ,They are just here " It is all you who are good " Cavity words under,let child let child like that so,it let by child at " the pressures invisible " Leave, lose oneself, lose happiness that survive, so the preparatory course in the case grow, can think, oneself was in the past and alive parents, will wail while jumping out of the building: "It is not interesting either to be alive a bit! "
The parents in the case love the child by every means, always say: "So long as you study hard, any thing other does not need you to do! " But psychology thinks: Family's rich parents do not only allow children to be too comfortable and peaceful and comfortable since childhood, can keep child struggle independent individual character.
Have stronger social integration functions on the Spring Festival, in the edifying of the folk custom activity on the Spring Festival, people have realized individuals to belong to the family, the family belongs to the place, and the place belongs to the country, can strengthen the modern's home sense and acceptance. So the psychological expert proposes the parents in the case utilize festival, lead the child to visit, let the heart of consciousness inside the family and former generations experience and gather in his mind, in warm kindred, let, take the place of the intersection of pressure and " the spring rain is moist and silent " among the border Transmit in child, perceive child and utilize by the pressures internals of family and let child not benefited during not growing up.

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