Psychological expert: Praise children " Clever " Or bring its negative effect
In 12355 youth activity centers that held a few days ago " parents' salon " Have, the psychological expert proposes, parents should pay attention to but not ability hard even more while praising children, " you are very clever " Such words will bring the negative effect to child instead.
"I often say ' you are very excellent ', ' you are very clever ' to the child. " When asking how to praise the child at ordinary times, a location parents say. As to this, Hu Hao, psychological expert of speaker, of the salon does not totally agree to, she gives an example of experiment which Columbia University Professor has done: The child praised inclines to choose the easy task to court praising again even more, even the difficult task can let them learn more things.
"Praise the child's efforts but not ability to should pay attention to him even more. " Hu Hao says, though it is clever to praise and can let the child feel very good, impel them to fear to fail too, avoid the challenge. And this kind of compliment seems to imply they do not need to make great efforts to succeed, having let them lose motive force of efforts, once they fail, mean oneself is not " clever " again ,Motive force is destroyed, the child will be vast and hazy to collapse. And affirm the child's efforts, " he will think it is not that oneself is not all right, but diligent and non- enough, what the aspiration of study will exceed to failing is afraid like this. "
The Absalom scene, the psychological expert Chen XiaoYa points out even, a lot of children have a class and make trouble on purpose now, came back home but made great efforts to study. Because in their view, " clever " Person need study,even also will make up to pose as by clever person by groups light some, laugh at those persons of study hard. The child wishes eagerly to be praised for approving of, it is " clever " but don't use Title fetter he.
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